<t>A blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair so she would look like a brunette.<br/> <br/> When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.<br/> <br/> After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,<...

<t>A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you t...

<t>Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels. His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to re...

<t>Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"<br/> Student: "Meat!"<br/> Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"<br/> Student: "Bacon!"<br/> Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"<br/> Student: "Homework!"<br/> <br/> Apologies to any teachers out there.<br/> <br/> A...

<t>1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.<br/> <br/> 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."<br/> <br/> 3. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. On...

<t>Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the a...

<t>A young monk arrives at the monastery and he is assigned to helping the other monks<br/> in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however,<br/> that all of the monks are copying from copies, and not from the original manuscript.<br/> <br/> So, the new monk goes to the...

<t>John Smith goes into the doctors feeling a little ill<br/> <br/> The doctor checks him over and says, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus.<br/> <br/> It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live.<br/> <br/> ...

<t>A woman died and found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates,<br/> being greeted by St. Peter.<br/> She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful.<br/> Did I really make it to heaven?"<br/> <br/> <br/> To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the G...

<t>QUESTIONS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT:<br/> <br/> <br/> How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?<br/> <br/> <br/> Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?...